Holy Cow! I'm still recuperating from the Miami game, and so is Lincoln's Police Department drunk tank from what I've heard. It is time to take our focus away from last Saturday when Randy Gregory channeled Tony Montana telling Miami to "Say hello to my little friend!" That's when Leader of Team SWAG, Josh Mitchell, went flying in off the top ropes and started grabbing face masks!
Now, we need to turn our focus to another FCS opponent... Wait a minute, I meant Illinois. Look guys, Illinois is bad (like, really bad). Not kinda bad, not a little bad, not bad like Michael Jackson's "Bad."
They are worse than Iowa bad. Worse than Michigan bad.
There is really not much they do good.
Let me show you some examples of exactly how atrocious this football team is.
Let's start with Illinois' defense (if you can call it a defense). The best team Illinois has played so far is Washington, who they lost to and gave up 44 points while allowing 464 total yards (NOTE: Washington gave up 52 points in their narrow victory over the mighty eagles of Eastern Washington). That same Illinois defense gave up over 200 yards rushing to...Youngstown State. Just last week, the running back for Texas State, Robert Lowe, ran for 117 yards on Illinois defense. I hate to sidetrack here, but I'd like to apologize to Roy Helu... When you broke Calvin Jones' single game rushing record, we all thought you'd hold onto that one for decades... Abdullah might double it this week. Illinois's defense is ranked 93rd in the country. I say score fast and quick, go for home runs through the air and in the running game. Let the first team have themselves a day, and get them street clothes on by the 3rd quarter.
Illinois' offense isn't as bad as their defense, but it's not that great. They don't run the ball well, or often. Through the first 4 games they average 33 points a game. They are ranked 61st in scoring offense in the country, with two of their opponents being FCS teams. Their quarterback, Wes Lunt, through 4 games has thrown the ball 152 times with 3 picks and 11 touchdowns. To compare, Tommy Armstrong in that same span, has chucked it up 94 times with 2 picks and 9 touchdowns. This Lunt guy's numbers aren't great, and he's also played against very bad defenses.
Here is the pass efficiency rankings are for Illinois's opponents so far:
Youngstown State: NA (FCS Team)
Western Kentucky: 115 (There is only 125 teams)
Washington: 102 (again, only 125 total)
Texas State: NA (FCS Team)
Nebraska's D line should either have 100 sacks or the secondary gets 20 interceptions, maybe a little of both.
You're probably thinking, "What do all these rankings and numbers mean Cole?" It means this game will be a feel good game for Nebraska. This is the game that you take your nephew to, because you don't want to waste the good tickets on him. It should be over by halftime.
Some people would say this is a trap game, because Sparty is waiting for us next week. I say nah; McNeese State was a blessing in disguise and the Huskers learned their lesson of overlooking teams. Illinois is 1-21 in their last 22 Big Ten games. Huskers will roll, and then we get ready for the game of the year against Michigan State. Hopefully, we'll be joined by GameDay and Sam Ponder (Yes, I know, I have a Sam Ponder problem).
Let's just get through this game with a lot of points, a lot of 3 and outs for the Blackshirts, no injuries, and LOTS of celebratory drinks. Don't sweat the outcome though. We Got This...
Written By: Cole Duncan
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